Remake Of ‘The Devil’s Advocate’ Titled ‘Well, Actually...’
LOS ANGELES — Keanu Reeves will revive his role as Kevin Lomax in the long-anticipated remake of The Devil’s Advocate, which will hit theaters in 2022 under the new title Well, Actually..., Deadline reported Thursday morning.
“When I was approached for the remake, I immediately accepted,” said Reeves. “I loved the fresh take the producers have come up with. I’m going to model my character after Ben Shapiro: anytime I speak to someone on screen, especially a woman, I start the sentence with ‘Well, actually…,” or “Let’s say, for the sake of argument…’ In one scene, I talk to an astronaut about space, but I speak over her because I watched The Martian and half of Interstellar."
“I felt so icky just reading it that I offered to pay for her children’s college tuition,” he continued. “I can’t understand how people can behave like this in real life, so this will be my toughest role yet. I look forward to the challenge and the many cold showers I will need to take to wash the sleaze off.”
Taylor Hackford, who directed the original, returns as well.
“There are so many smug antagonists out there, so I felt this was a perfect time to update the original,” said Hackford. “We wanted to reflect a more modern paradigm — the man who argues just for the sake of argument, whether he has a stake in the argument or not, and who thinks the human rights of minorities are theoretical. We asked Al Pacino to come back, but he said he doesn’t have the energy to play a douchebag anymore.”
However, not everyone was thrilled with the changes.
“I don’t know why they’re rebooting it, especially with that dumbass faux-woke name. Come on, Well, Actually...?” said Tucker White, a fan of the original film. “Why do we have to ruin everything? The original was perfect. What’s next? Are we going to cancel arguing? I’m tired of all this ‘progress’ bullshit. Can’t a man just be a bigot in peace like the old days? I’m tired of people being continuously offended. I hope people cancel Keanu and this movie.”
At press time, studio executives announced a sequel called Your Oppression, My Pleasure.
