Guy Who Stopped Woman He Loves From Getting On Plane Fined $20,000
FORT WORTH, Texas — After stopping the love of his life from boarding a red eye to Sarasota by running out onto the tarmac in front of a moving plane, account executive Gary Deakins was hit with a mammoth fine of $20,000 for violating security protocols and breaking a dozen laws, authorities report.
"I thought he was going to blow up a plane,” said TSA agent Jamie Delzince, who thought the airport was under attack. “He sprinted by me yelling 'I can’t live without you!!' Then shouldered an old man into the x-ray machine. The elderly are at risk of serious injury from a body check like that. So I called Placide from Legal to start the process to fine his reckless ass. This asshole is on some ‘Love Actually’ shit. Third time this week someone’s tried something like this, too.”
Beth Dodson, Deakins’ fiance, admits that while it was truly a grand gesture of devotion, there was an underlying thread that doesn’t sit right.
“It was cute and all but… he could have called. Or sent a text. It’s not like I deleted his number. We’ve dated on and off for three years and I’m still in love with him. I’m not a sociopath. He even texted me this morning wishing me a safe flight. I wish the text said ‘Please stay there’s no one else I can imagine laying with every night,’ so a plane of Floridians didn’t have to hear it. Have you ever been on a flight to Florida? Doesn’t matter how old you are, you’re the youngest one there. Half of them nodded off as I put on the ring.”
Gary Deakins admits that this is how he operates.
“I typically fuck up big time then try to win all the favor back with a show-stopping gesture. It’s destroying me financially, but it works every time. I’m not even helping plan the wedding. Then, a week before our wedding day, I’ll show up at her work with caterers, florists, photographers, a bridal party, and our families, and just have it there. It’ll be great”
At press time, Deakins had reportedly broken off the engagement to pursue another woman.
